Home sweet Iowa home
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Thank you to so many
There are a lot of people to thank lately. I plan on making them all cookies and cutsie thank-you cards in the next couple of days so they actually know I am thankful....but here is the list of nominees...I'd like to thank
- The emergency room docs and nurses for administering morphine in a timely fashion...whew!
- The lovely OB-GYN docs who waited patiently for me to regain the ability to move/lie down, as I was too nauseous to "assume the position" for the ultra sound for some time.
- My most wonderful doctors who were not actually working that night, or even on call, yet they came in to do my surgery so I could feel I was in the hands of those I trusted.
- The sweet kind co-worker of hubby's (another doc) who offered to take my kids home, feed them, and put them to bed at her house so they didn't have to hang out all night at the hospital. You are an angel.
- The boss who found subs for my Zumba classes and didn't make a stink about me being out for another two weeks.
- Anyone who subbed for me
- The doctors who work with hubby who covered his shifts/patients for two days so he could be home to look after me.
- The numerous people from church who jumped at the chance to make meals for my family for an entire week.
- The sweet friend who drove my daughter to school every day this week since I could not.
- The wonderful "mommy friends" who took my son to play at their houses, with their kids so he had supervision and fun while I slept and recovered.
- The friends and family who offer so many prayers on my behalf
- All those who had kind words
- My children for putting up with all this chaos
- My husband for working so hard, and giving so much.
Thank you so much. There really is a lot of good in this world, and I am blessed to have seen much of it this past week. Now to make 14 dozen cookies.......
Saturday, May 29, 2010
And now...the rest of the story
Me....what about me? Here I am... A daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife. Some of the more serious roles. And then an actor, a singer, a dancer, a baker, a candle stick maker....okay that last one is a lie, just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
I grew up in Utah...loved every minute of it. The variety of beautiful scenery everywhere you look. The Jazz. The focus on family. When you say "The ward" or "The stake center" everyone knows what you are talking about. The choices of radio stations and restaurants and entertainment. I now live in Iowa.....a smallish area 2 hours from the Capitol of Des Moines. There are no decent radio stations here.
The Midwest is an interesting place. The weather alone has nearly killed us. We arrived two days before the river crested in the floods of 2008. There was a guy canoeing down the street about a half mile from our new house...seriously. Summer's humidity was flabbergasting...Utah is very dry...I think now I like dry. Winter's 30 below zero temps were also an eye opener. But they have lots of bald eagles here, and pretty wild flowers.
The places I have lived/been are a part of who I am. I miss home very much, but I am grateful for all the learning experiences I am having here.
Back to me.... I was in a a school play in 4th grade..."The Wizard of Oz" and it was a revelation...I loved being on stage. I have been in dozens of musical theater productions and comedies and even a TV commercial or two. In college I discovered I also loved to dance. As a child, being one of 10 children, there was no money for lessons of any kind. College showed me Tap and Ballet and Jazz. I loved it all.
Sadly there is no decent live theater in these parts. I haven't belted a show tune, or made a crowd laugh for over two years!!! Agony! So last year I took a Zumba class.....basically dance for exercise. Totally fun. I went out on a limb and got certified to teach. I thought that was pretty brave. Then I was blessed to get a gig teaching at the gym I go to..... I am now on stage three times a week. Dancing and making people sweat....Oh the power! :0) Since my surgery I am obviously not teaching Zumba, that might make me explode. Hopefully I will be back at it an another week. People have called me "feisty" in the past, maybe that will work to my advantage.
I left behind family, friends, nice weather, world class theater, a plethora of dining options and radio stations...all I knew
I gained... yards without sprinkler systems (it rains so hard here nobody needs them) soil that will grow anything, beautiful wild life (there are bunnies in my back yard right now), tornado sirens, and fire flies. Being away from "Home" has made me appreciate it so much more "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord"
I grew up in Utah...loved every minute of it. The variety of beautiful scenery everywhere you look. The Jazz. The focus on family. When you say "The ward" or "The stake center" everyone knows what you are talking about. The choices of radio stations and restaurants and entertainment. I now live in Iowa.....a smallish area 2 hours from the Capitol of Des Moines. There are no decent radio stations here.
The Midwest is an interesting place. The weather alone has nearly killed us. We arrived two days before the river crested in the floods of 2008. There was a guy canoeing down the street about a half mile from our new house...seriously. Summer's humidity was flabbergasting...Utah is very dry...I think now I like dry. Winter's 30 below zero temps were also an eye opener. But they have lots of bald eagles here, and pretty wild flowers.
The places I have lived/been are a part of who I am. I miss home very much, but I am grateful for all the learning experiences I am having here.
Back to me.... I was in a a school play in 4th grade..."The Wizard of Oz" and it was a revelation...I loved being on stage. I have been in dozens of musical theater productions and comedies and even a TV commercial or two. In college I discovered I also loved to dance. As a child, being one of 10 children, there was no money for lessons of any kind. College showed me Tap and Ballet and Jazz. I loved it all.
Sadly there is no decent live theater in these parts. I haven't belted a show tune, or made a crowd laugh for over two years!!! Agony! So last year I took a Zumba class.....basically dance for exercise. Totally fun. I went out on a limb and got certified to teach. I thought that was pretty brave. Then I was blessed to get a gig teaching at the gym I go to..... I am now on stage three times a week. Dancing and making people sweat....Oh the power! :0) Since my surgery I am obviously not teaching Zumba, that might make me explode. Hopefully I will be back at it an another week. People have called me "feisty" in the past, maybe that will work to my advantage.
I left behind family, friends, nice weather, world class theater, a plethora of dining options and radio stations...all I knew
I gained... yards without sprinkler systems (it rains so hard here nobody needs them) soil that will grow anything, beautiful wild life (there are bunnies in my back yard right now), tornado sirens, and fire flies. Being away from "Home" has made me appreciate it so much more "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord"
Friday, May 28, 2010
Hello world
Hello world.... I am starting a blog. I have been going through a lot of stressful life situations over the course of the last 10 years and wanted to get it all out!!!
I have been happily married for almost 11 years. I adore my husband.... he is one of the greatest men I have ever known. Supporting him through all his schooling and still doing things that fulfil me has been the challenge. My hubby is a resident physician... Which for those of you not "in the know" means he has been in school a looooong time. Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Medical school (M.D.), and is now in an additional 4 years of training to specialize.... he is an OB-GYN. Which is what brings me to the present situation.
We have two amazing children and have been trying to add to our family for the past 2 years with no luck. We have tried clomid, injectables, IUI, and this last month IVF. That saga goes like this. We have always wanted a "biggish" family, 4-6 kids. The first time we got pregnant, it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy... that is when the embryo implants somewhere other than the uterus, usually the fallopian tube.. The problem was found early and I was able to have medication instead of surgery... thus preserving my tube. We then went on to have two children without trouble. We have been trying to have another baby for 2 years and thought I would get pregnant easily again.
Doctors I have seen say my ovaries are not as robust as they might be for a person my age (32), so because we have good insurance we opted to try IVF. It was a roller coaster with all the injections and the waiting game. When it came down to it I only produced 7 eggs! I actually had 6 the first time I tried clomid and all those injections only made 7! Out of the 7 only 5 fertilized and they did a 3 day transfer with 2 10 cell embryos. None of the remaining embryos made it to the stage where they could freeze them for later use.
The waiting was torture so I took an early pregnancy test that was faintly positive... I was shocked. A few days later the blood test was positive but the hormone levels were not as high as they should be (only 30) A few days later the levels dropped to 21. We were very sad and mad...but not surprised. We had a feeling it wasn't all going to be good news. Just when we thought we could get off the roller coaster, another blood test a few days later showed a level of 503! What the heck. Cautiously hopeful we got an ultrasound that day. That is when we discovered the pregnancy was in my left tube. Will this never end!? Tubal pregnancies can be life threatening so it was treated that same day with medication and the waiting began again. Would the medication work? Was there something wrong with the tube? after 12 days we again thought we were in the clear. It was last sunday...we had just come from an appointment to talk to our bishop (clergy) to let him know of our struggles and ask for advice. All of a sudden I started having strong pain in my left side. My poor husband had just come home from being on call all night and he desperately needed sleep. Here I was writhing in pain trying not to worry the kids....off to the emergency room.
The pain meds they gave me made me soooo sick, and the ultrasound revealed my left tube needed serious attention. Miserable. Shocked. I was reminded of a quote from the movie Bruce Almighty... He is at the end of his rope and is addressing God saying, "Smite me oh mighty smiter!!" ie....."what else ya got!? I was headed for emergency surgery. My tube looked very kinked and distended...I saw pictures. My husband was there in the O.R. acting as my advocate and a third pair of eyes. I have the most wonderful doctors. The tube was removed laproscopically. Maybe it is better this way....that side will never cause me problems again. But it will also never carry an egg to meet with a sperm and implant safely in my womb.
So here I sit. Recovering from surgery I never in a million years thought I would need. Now I am the one having meals brought to my family by loving friends from church. My belly is swollen and bruised. My tube is gone, and we still want more babies. I wish I didn't have this desire. I wish I felt like we were done. I believe God has a plan for each of us. I don't claim to know what he wants for me and mine. I trust him and will keep trying....after my sore heart and wounded body have time to heal. I am desperately thankful for our two children... now more than ever I see what miracles they are. I got a letter from the hospital today confirming that we can try again with IVF in 3 months. Until then.... I will be the best mom I can be to the most amazing children. I will tirelessly support my husband through his 80+ work hour weeks because he is amazing and I love him. I will pray for understanding, and healing and try to align my desires with what Heavenly Father wants for me. "God's will is what we would choose for ourselves if we had all the information He does"
I have been happily married for almost 11 years. I adore my husband.... he is one of the greatest men I have ever known. Supporting him through all his schooling and still doing things that fulfil me has been the challenge. My hubby is a resident physician... Which for those of you not "in the know" means he has been in school a looooong time. Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Medical school (M.D.), and is now in an additional 4 years of training to specialize.... he is an OB-GYN. Which is what brings me to the present situation.
We have two amazing children and have been trying to add to our family for the past 2 years with no luck. We have tried clomid, injectables, IUI, and this last month IVF. That saga goes like this. We have always wanted a "biggish" family, 4-6 kids. The first time we got pregnant, it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy... that is when the embryo implants somewhere other than the uterus, usually the fallopian tube.. The problem was found early and I was able to have medication instead of surgery... thus preserving my tube. We then went on to have two children without trouble. We have been trying to have another baby for 2 years and thought I would get pregnant easily again.
Doctors I have seen say my ovaries are not as robust as they might be for a person my age (32), so because we have good insurance we opted to try IVF. It was a roller coaster with all the injections and the waiting game. When it came down to it I only produced 7 eggs! I actually had 6 the first time I tried clomid and all those injections only made 7! Out of the 7 only 5 fertilized and they did a 3 day transfer with 2 10 cell embryos. None of the remaining embryos made it to the stage where they could freeze them for later use.
The waiting was torture so I took an early pregnancy test that was faintly positive... I was shocked. A few days later the blood test was positive but the hormone levels were not as high as they should be (only 30) A few days later the levels dropped to 21. We were very sad and mad...but not surprised. We had a feeling it wasn't all going to be good news. Just when we thought we could get off the roller coaster, another blood test a few days later showed a level of 503! What the heck. Cautiously hopeful we got an ultrasound that day. That is when we discovered the pregnancy was in my left tube. Will this never end!? Tubal pregnancies can be life threatening so it was treated that same day with medication and the waiting began again. Would the medication work? Was there something wrong with the tube? after 12 days we again thought we were in the clear. It was last sunday...we had just come from an appointment to talk to our bishop (clergy) to let him know of our struggles and ask for advice. All of a sudden I started having strong pain in my left side. My poor husband had just come home from being on call all night and he desperately needed sleep. Here I was writhing in pain trying not to worry the kids....off to the emergency room.
The pain meds they gave me made me soooo sick, and the ultrasound revealed my left tube needed serious attention. Miserable. Shocked. I was reminded of a quote from the movie Bruce Almighty... He is at the end of his rope and is addressing God saying, "Smite me oh mighty smiter!!" ie....."what else ya got!? I was headed for emergency surgery. My tube looked very kinked and distended...I saw pictures. My husband was there in the O.R. acting as my advocate and a third pair of eyes. I have the most wonderful doctors. The tube was removed laproscopically. Maybe it is better this way....that side will never cause me problems again. But it will also never carry an egg to meet with a sperm and implant safely in my womb.
So here I sit. Recovering from surgery I never in a million years thought I would need. Now I am the one having meals brought to my family by loving friends from church. My belly is swollen and bruised. My tube is gone, and we still want more babies. I wish I didn't have this desire. I wish I felt like we were done. I believe God has a plan for each of us. I don't claim to know what he wants for me and mine. I trust him and will keep trying....after my sore heart and wounded body have time to heal. I am desperately thankful for our two children... now more than ever I see what miracles they are. I got a letter from the hospital today confirming that we can try again with IVF in 3 months. Until then.... I will be the best mom I can be to the most amazing children. I will tirelessly support my husband through his 80+ work hour weeks because he is amazing and I love him. I will pray for understanding, and healing and try to align my desires with what Heavenly Father wants for me. "God's will is what we would choose for ourselves if we had all the information He does"
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