Full Circle...yes, already

When I first started this blog, I did so because my heart was aching. I needed to get it all out. If you have read my first post you'll know the reasons. We have two wonderful children and had been trying for over 2 years to have another. We felt like it was never going to happen. We did so many tests and procedures. Our last attempt was at IVF, which resulted in a tubal pregnancy and emergency surgery to remove my left fallopian tube. It was all surreal and overwhelming. Fast forward.... After my surgery we were just trying to get ourselves prepared mentally to try IVF one more time. We were told to wait for at least 3 months...That was difficult...I felt like we had lost so much time already. Yet, I wasn't really ready to go through all that again. An impasse.

A couple of weeks past my surgery things were getting back to normal. I was healing well both physically and mentally. I had reached a place where I didn't want to beg God anymore...I would just take what He was willing to give me. The weeks passed. I knew I had to be back to a regular cycle in order to be ready for another IVF attempt. Nothing had started yet...not too unusual considering all my body had been through...but I had to check. I have never been so sure that a pregnancy test was going to be negative. I have taken too many to even remember. As the results spread across the test, my jaw dropped to the floor. There was a dark test line showing up before the control line was even there!. For those who don't know...you usually have to wait at least 3 minutes for results. I was beyond shocked. How could this be? We didn't use medication, or timing, or ovulation predictors. Then I was worried. What if it was in the wrong place again?? I showed Hubby and we both just laughed. This was too crazy. Went to the hospital that same afternoon and Hubby did an ultrasound for me. There it was...right in the uterus where it belonged...with a beautiful heartbeat. A miracle...a blessing.

Of course I have had all the normal worries and concerns that go along with any pregnancy. But everything is looking wonderful and we still can hardly believe it happened like it did. I am now 16 weeks along. Saw the heartbeat again just a few days ago. Hoping to feel regular movements soon. And know I will have something very exciting to blog about for the next 5 months
"My life is a gift, my life has a plan. My life has a purpose, in Heaven it began" I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for this blessing...and for His Guidance and Spirit when I felt like I couldn't endure all the waiting and wondering

Long time no blog....

It has been a month since I posted here. I have been a little busy living the life I blog about :0)Since I wrote last, Bubba-do and Pooka-shell have started school. Pooka-shell is in first grade, and is amazing and brilliant. She rides the bus to school and loves that. I was nervous about the whole bus situation, but it was handled with order and I feel better about it now. I had that moment as I said good-bye to her as she got on the bus for the first time....I wanted her to miss me. I wanted her to look longingly back at me as I did at her.....didn't happen. She hopped on board, totally confident and ready for her next adventure. I did however, drive to school and meet her there so I could make sure she got to her classroom... just for a couple of days.

Just look at that cheesy toothless grin!

Look closely and you can see her through the door window. I obviously lack skill and proper equipment to take very good pictures.

Bubba-do finally found a place to go to preschool this year. We adored the preschool he was going to. It was on a real farm with real animals...so great. Alas, our finances required a change. We had heard a lot of good things about a preschool very close to our house so we got on the waiting list (they were already full) After a lot of praying and searching out all our options...a miracle...a spot opened up! Great teachers, great place, great location. Our little super-hero

I really tried

I am discovering that the public school system is quite flawed. It is designed to produce people who will follow orders and show up on time. These are not bad things necessarily...but they are not enough. I fought so hard. I wanted my child to go to a school that I felt good about. I researched, I visited and prayed about all the "choices". That was the problem...I thought that I actually had a choice. I could choose to leave the school that we live near because of the poor test scores. The district had paperwork that listed all the other schools we could consider. I did a lot of foot work! Come to find out there really wasn't much choice. Everyone who leaves our neighborhood school gets sent to a certain other school. They made it seem like we actually had some say in where she went.....that was very misleading.
The other school that is our only choice...was not one of my first choices. It is under heavy construction...a chaotic mess. The test scores are better, yet I still feel uncomfortable about it. Pooka-shell can take a school bus...she is excited, I am nervous. I need to keep her safe...I need to let her grow up but not let the world decide how or when. I considered home schooling very seriously. But because there was a "chance" that I could get her into a school I felt comfortable about....I wasn't prepared.
I will be closely guiding her as she educates herself. I her experience to be rich and full. She is exceptional! She will get more, and better than I did. She will realize that she can learn from classics and great mentors...not just school books and arbitrary grades. As I learn more, so will she. We are setting the stage...the example for the rest of the children in our family. Thank goodness for the wonderful libraries here. We will make the best from our situation. It will be interesting to see how this school year goes for her. She will be assessed for the "gifted and talented" program, and either subject, or full grade acceleration. It will be a process to discover where she stands academically in all the subjects. Here we go...wish us luck.

All I want for Christmas.....

For weeks now, Pooka-shell has been wriggling her two top front teeth. They were becoming quite a nuisance when she tried to eat. She even told me she was afraid they might fall out at night and go down her throat. She lost her first two (bottom) when she was only five years old.....I thought that was a little early. And now, at six years of age, two more are gone!

It is a strange thing for a mother to witness such rites of passage in her first born. I wasn't prepared for how much older she would look...and sound with those teeth missing. I sat with her and encouraged her to wriggle and twist them. We used a little teething gel left over from her baby days. She kept at it, and as it was becoming apparent that they were truly coming out....she was "shaking with excitement just like Wilbur" (her words, she just finished reading Charlotte's Web). Her little face flushed and her fingers shook...then out came the tooth! So exciting. The next one took some patience, but she did it. Here are the results.

11 years and counting ....

Happy birthday yesterday to a hard working, amazing daddy, always humorous doctor hubby! Yesterday was also our 11 year wedding anniversary. It is kind of neat having both days in one. For one thing, hubby will never forget his own birthday...therefore he will always remember our anniversary....good insurance for him ;0)

At this stage in our lives we are not able to celebrate such momentous occasions in a way I feel is fitting to the importance of them. Hubby was working all day...I had errands to run and meetings to attend. And we have no money to spare. We did the best we could. The kiddos made him their own style of birthday cards and even woke up at 3:30 a.m. to give them to him as he left for work. I got him one single present and hoped he could manage to get off work before 10 p.m. so we could spend a few minutes together.

Miraculously he was home by 7 o'clock (thanks to co-workers who helped) and our very kind friends were willing to watch our kids at a moments notice so we could go to dinner. The dinner was great and inexpensive. The time together was rare. The birthday cake and candles made it an occasion....and we did celebrate the wonderful day that hubby was born and our family began. Here's to many more!

Bubba-Do is four

Today our Bubba-do is four years old...Where did the time go? When we moved here, his big sister was the four year old and he was still the baby. Now he is dangerously close to kindergarten. I love how he adores frogs. I love that he constantly says "Mommy, I wuv you!". I love how generous he is...he almost always shares with everyone..especially big sister. I love that he is always excited to help with everything...even cleaning a toilet. I love that he is mechanically minded and is always pushing buttons, taking things apart etc. I love holding him...and the fact that at four years old he only weighs 27 pounds makes him so holdable. He is sweet and funny and brave and very intelligent.

I am so glad we have a little boy. They really are as charming as everyone told me they would be.

Daddy even had the weekend off to celebrate with us! The men of the house on party day.

Happy Birthday Bubba-do. I am so glad you were born. We love you!

Independance day

This fourth of July was different. The weather was beautiful, the sparklers were lit....we even had a nice dinner with friends. But this year the fourth of July landed on a Sunday, the Sabbath. We did not go to the parade...we were in Sacrament Meeting (worship service). It was an important lesson for our children...to show them where our priorities lie.

When we moved to the Midwest I never fathomed that holidays would be celebrated on Sunday. Naive? Maybe...it just wasn't on my radar to wonder. Growing up in Utah, if a holiday did land on Sunday, everything was just celebrated the day before, no question about it. Here everything is open on Sunday and it is really just viewed as the same as every other day of the week. City wide activities, carnivals, parades....you name it...usually on Sunday. Kind of stinks

It was interesting thinking on the driving force that created this great nation.... The desire for freedom to worship according to the dictates of our own conscience. We have that freedom so many lived and died for. As I attended church with my family on the fourth of July, I could think of no more appropriate place to be.